Emotions either make you happy or sad or scared. Sometimes, they just plain ol’ get in the way of life. You can’t stop who you fall in love with or who makes you want to commit murder or one that makes you wanna do all of it but you’d miss the miserable bastard.
So, yeah, emotions have been fucking with my existence lately. On some days, it was welcomed and other days, it wasn’t worth the pain nor the anger.
Please sign me up for the old cat lady subscription, fuck love at this moment, I want to be left alone but wait come back – I want you to fucking cuddle with me first. I’m crazy and it’s hard. I have issues and I know this but damn it, I don’t drown the problems with a bottle of alcohol every night. Sometimes, I’ll go years without ever getting drunk again. Because WHY? Oh yeah, I already said it, I like my fucking money!
Of course, this shit is all my fault, I fell for a drug addict. I knew he wasn’t going to change anytime soon, hell I don’t think he’ll ever change. BUT when I became his friend and started sleeping with him, I didn’t expect to fall. Before we get to the point of saying, well you had sex with him. Quit associating sex with love. I don’t, I’m capable of sexing a guy and sending him on the way like he’s the chick. Bad reference, ladies, I know. Diablo and I didn’t have sex on day one or even day 25.
After we had sex, I’d go back to my place, not stay at my girl’s house who was unfortunately dating Diablo’s cousin at the time. Id leave because yo!, that’s what you do when its friends with benefits. You don’t get clingy with the person, you go on your way and then go drink beer together days later. BITCH, you do not start pestering people about where I’m at. None of your business, sir, I’m not your girlfriend. Remember, that was your rule. I was cool with it. So, why you wanna have me around you all the time until you met my crazy but you still come around and you took care of me. But it ain’t like that. NO other girl can call you in the middle of the night and ask for vehicle help but I can.
I have a bunch of why questions but I can’t bring myself to fucking ask you because you’re an asshole. You’re not single because you can’t deal with crazy, you deal with me like a motherfucking champion. You’re single because of the drugs and alcohol. There’s no woman alive that can match me in your life. I know this, I’m confident in that. They can try but they just wont be me! I see past your bullshit, so dear love, if you want to keep me. Clean, sober and man the fuck up.
Oops, so this went into a dear asshole letter. I just needed to vent.
PS… That cat lady box link is legit! LMAO